PROCESS OF ELIMINATION

In other local news, there were numerous reports across the countryside of mysterious lights in the night sky. Phone calls were received by law enforcement agencies, as well as virtually every media outlet, between 9:45 and 10:30 last evening. In particular, Sheriff Wally Jones and a deputy, Travis Boone, ventured out of their office to obtain a first-hand look at the reportedly often-moving, sometimes-stationary, and usually-flickering lights. Sheriff Jones commented this morning about 8:30, "We don't at this time know what it was, but it definitely was not a UFO."