YOUR SINGING CAT

Now you and your cat can sing together! Send no money now! In fact, send no money ever. Nevertheless, if your cat is quite vocal, it will sing with you in no time at all. The song? Why,
"Take Me out to the Ballgame." You'll do most of the singing, but after "take," pet or otherwise silently encourage your cat to vocalize. Thus, you'll have, "Take"
"Meow"
"To the ballgame. Take"
"Meow"
"To the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and . . ."
Your friends and family will be amazed! Not? Uh, you get what you pay for.

THREESOME

First, they used to say that children should be seen, not heard. Well, this joke is better to be heard than read: Girlfriend: My boyfriend is taking me to Sin City!
Blonde: Cool! I have cousins in Ohio!

Next, what show follows an Atlanta Braves-Cleveland Indians baseball game? The Tent Inning.

Last one tonight: Who determines whether you should eat candy after it's fallen onto the carpet? The Food and Rug Administration.

SIN

What is a sin, in my humorous sense, that is? A sin is a sign with letters missing. Oh, I've created many, but here's one from our neighborhood (name changed): ACME ANIMAL HOSPITAL now reads ACME ANI AL HOS. I surely hope that "I" doesn't fall off!

HEADLIE/TIEPOE

You can imagine what a headlie is--a fake headline. A tiepoe is a misspelling or similar problem. All are designed, of course, to be humorous; and, as you probably have noticed, not all are fabricated! One of my combo headlie/tiepoe examples is the following: CARDINAL BENEDICT BECOMES POP. Here's a tiepoe that could be a company wrecker: law firm motto, "We help injure people." Moreover, the title of this blog involves a tiepoe. We apologize for any inconvenience the missing apostrophe may have caused.