FOOD FOR THOUGHT

(At a buffet) Employee: Ma'm, the sign clearly states that children under ten must be accompanied by an adult to the food bars.
Mother: Oh, my son can't really read yet.

BORN YESTERDAY

I read that new Chicago baseball franchise owner Tom Ricketts has been a "lifelong Cubs fan" since he went to the University of Chicago--huh??

COME HERE OFTEN?

What is Meetherology? A dating service at which Mr. Write finds Miss Spell.

SPERM DONORS

What do you get if you cross rabbits with walruses? Easter Seals.

DOUBLE TROUBLE

Tiger Woods is supposed to be so great; heck, he drove into a tree and water at the same time!

TITLELESS BALL

Tiger Woods can't find his golf ball yet, but he does run into a buxom brunette. Then his ball is observed in a small wooden shelter. As Tiger's wife spots everything, the announcer mutters, "Looks as if Tiger's in the doghouse!"

PUTTING OUT

Tiger Woods took a blonde to a motel. On the way, she questioned, "We're not going to use our real names, are we?"

"Oh, no," Tiger assured her, "Most people use Smith or Jones." After arriving at the check-in counter, Tiger announced, "I'm DeJuan Smith."

"And I'm Wanda Jones," the blonde followed.