HOUSEHOLD NAME?

ELECT
Abdullah Maharishi Hasseintauvga Barromichka

Friend:  How much did those signs set you back?
Abdullah:  Almost a million dollars, but I used John Hancock Signature Bottom Lines, and they're the best around.
Friend:  I think you're paying for the name.

NEW STRAIN MAYBE

(Sign in a pharmacy: FLU SHOTS EVERY DAY)
Pharmacist: But you received one just yesterday, Ma'm.

ANOTHER TIEPOE

Sign: Regularly $100, now 20% of!

Customer to salesperson: So I pay $20.

Salesperson: No, $80.

WHAT?!

Did you see that white-robed, sandaled, bearded, old man with a sign that read, "REPET--THE "N" IS NEAR!"?

PARTY HEARTY

Years ago a motel was in its last days but featured a holiday period marquee that I'll never forget:
PLAN YOUR FAMILY
PARTIES NOW
I still wonder how wild those parties were!

CAN'T YOU READ THE SIGN?!

A driver sees a sign with an arrow to the right: DOWN TOW. So he turns right and surely enough his car almost immediately falls off a cliff. Soon a wrecker arrives. Perhaps its shop is indeed located downtown.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

(At a buffet) Employee: Ma'm, the sign clearly states that children under ten must be accompanied by an adult to the food bars.
Mother: Oh, my son can't really read yet.