PLAYERS TO BE NAMED LATER

St. Louis Cardinals fan:  We have three prospects on our current Major League roster!
Chicago Cubs fan:  So what?--we have twenty-five!

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME . . .

Yes, I know they haven't won in over a hundred years, but it's not nice to call them the Chokago Cubs.

NEITHER RAIN, NOR SNOW, NOR GLOOM OF . . .

One: The Cubs have had a boatload of injuries and haven't missed a beat.

Other: Still losing, huh?

One: Uh, right.

TODAY'S GAME: THE IRRESTIBLE FORCES AGAINST THE IMMOVABLE OBJECTS

One: I see the Cubs have erected another statue out there.

Other: Na, that's just our third baseman. He doesn't have a lot of range.

GO CUBBIES!

I have some good news and some bad news for Chicago Cub baseball fans. The good news is I predict the Cubs' streak of non-championship seasons will end at 104. The bad news is some predict the world will end in December of 2012.

READ MY LIPS

Mark Cuban(cube en): I am not desperate to own a baseball team, but if I'd swung that Chicago job, I might have changed my name to Cuban (Cub en).

BORN YESTERDAY

I read that new Chicago baseball franchise owner Tom Ricketts has been a "lifelong Cubs fan" since he went to the University of Chicago--huh??