MAKES SENSE TO ME

One: You don't have any pants on!

Other: It's ok. This shirt is triple X.

FOR BASEBALL FANS ONLY

Two baseball players are signing autographs when a number of flies begin to bother the lady they're signing for. She's about to swat them with a scorecard when another fly wearing an S on the chest area of its caped blue and red costume whizzes around her eyes. Reacting to this new annoyance, she swats him instead.

One player: What the heck is that?

Other player: That was Sacrifice Fly.

COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE(?)

Blonde at estate sale: I want this.

Sale worker: Ma'm, the sticker clearly says, "Sold."

Blonde: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it meant, "Somewhat old."

WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?

Customer to salesman: Show me the Carfax.

A couple of brightly dressed guys approach and chime in, "Hello, Sir, isn't this a marvelous vehicle? Or would you prefer to see something in lavender or chartreuse?"

NO DEAD AIR ANYWAY

Reporter: We're live from the site of the plane crash, where it has been determined by officials that there are no survivors.

GO CUBBIES!

I have some good news and some bad news for Chicago Cub baseball fans. The good news is I predict the Cubs' streak of non-championship seasons will end at 104. The bad news is some predict the world will end in December of 2012.

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES . . .

I was talking with a couple of blondes about the possible end of the world on December 21, 2012. One of them posed, "Well, we could celebrate Christmas a week early." The other blonde went, "Duh! There's no end of the world--the world is round!"