THE OPPONENT COULD BE ILL

Guy: Hey, Babe, check the TV and tell me who's winning the game.

Blonde: Some team named Scar.

Guy: Scar? That's South Carolina!

IF A TREE FALLS IN A FOREST AND . . .

If a team wins a sports championship, but everyone in that city drowns in a concurrent flood, would there be a celebration?

WHERE THERE'S A WILL . . .

Coach: Hey, Favre, you can't play Sunday; your arm's in a sling.
Brett: Not my left arm.