NEW MEANING TO "ONE-ARMED BANDIT"

After Arizona won the World Series over New York in baseball, I came up with this possible Yogi Berraism: Randy Johnson and Curt Shilling beat the Yankees single-handed. Well, years later a Chicago Cubs analyst, Todd Hollandsworth, actually noted that, "Andrew McCutcheon and Garrett Jones [of the Pirates] have been beating up the Cubs single-handedly."

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME . . .

Yes, I know they haven't won in over a hundred years, but it's not nice to call them the Chokago Cubs.

WHO SAID REAL ESTATE IS TOUGH THESE DAYS?

Blonde Chicago Bear fan: Where are we playing today?

Other: Soldier Field.

Blonde: Well, we'd better find some place to play!

READ MY LIPS

Mark Cuban(cube en): I am not desperate to own a baseball team, but if I'd swung that Chicago job, I might have changed my name to Cuban (Cub en).

YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN

One Chicago sportscaster has uttered such as the following: "Sometimes you have to go with what you visually see with your eyes," and, "Carlos, we all know, needs to control his mental state of mind." I'm sure you can understand and comprehend that these comments are redundant and superfluous.