THE KID MADE AN "A"--INSTEAD OF AN "O"

Tiepoes again:  One youngster:  You Mormons think hardships are good for you.
The other youngster:  The teacher wrote that hardships make us stranger.

MARGE MADNESS

A little girl wanted to shoot the basketball. "No, you're too young for that," her uncle asserted.

"I want to shoot the basketball!" the girl went on.

"Marjorie, I said you're too short," the uncle argued.

"I want to shoot the basketball!!" the kid yelled.

"But you're a gir . . .," her uncle tried to plead as she interrupted.

"I said I . . .," she went on as if possessed.

"Ok, here," allowed her uncle. Standing almost under the basket and with her best heave, the niece hurled the ball straight enough but just under the rim. At that point Margorie's father walked into the gymnasium.

"You didn't let her shoot the basketball, did you, Eddie?" the father said to his brother.

"Nothin' but net," the uncle hedged.

ALPHABET SOUP

Mother: Ok, Heather, say your ABC's.
Heather: A, B, C.
Mother: Now your DEF's.
Heather: D, E, F.
Mother: How about your GHI's?
Heather: G, H, I.
Mother: And your . . .

But then there's another daughter--
Neighbor: Can you say your ABC's, Ashley?
Ashley: Of course! M, S, V, C, O, Z, A, L, Q, . . .
Neighbor: Wait--it's supposed to be A, B, C, D, E, F, . . .
Ashley: Well, you didn't tell me to say 'em in order!