DIAGNOSIS: NERVOUS

Why did the psychiatrist put a patient into an electric chair and lead a lion into the office?  He was giving a Roar-Shock test.

PAPER AND PLASTIC

(Check Out at a doctor's office)
Patient: I know it says, "Check Out," but may I use cash instead?

CAN'T ARGUE

(Check Out at a doctor's office)
Receptionist: Why are you removing your clothes?

Patient: I thought they were going to check me out here.